Mets win two against Minnesota; Rand Paul and racists don’t make it feel good

I switched back to a more classic look for Caffeinated Jam because I got tired of the grid-style magazine format. Also, because the blog has taken a more personal approach as of late, I got nostalgic for the simplicity of the old Tumblr sites I used to keep. Ah, Tumblr, a platform I never used well. I tried to make long diatribes about politics and music work while other folks racked up thousands of likes and reblogs from posting a single two-frame GIF of a dancing potato.

Yesterday afternoon the Mets made their second game against the Twins look like a modest repeat of their game on Tuesday, keeping a tight score throughout the first half. Jeff McNeil’s belt fell off while he tried to catch a ball in the bottom of the second, and the Twins pulled ahead to a 3-2 lead in the fifth, and it seemed like we would get another gaffe-filled day out of our beloved New York team. But the Twins would supply the better part of the goofs later on, as fielding errors from Eddie Rosario and Miguel Sano allowed the Mets to blow the game wide open. Dominic Smith homered at the top of the seventh, and in the eighth, the Twins threw their defense out the window as Mets batters brought in the runs to make a 9-3 lead.

The Mets sealed the Twins’ fate, however, when Pete Alonso — the first baseman who many on Twitter said needed a good moment — had his moment when he rocketed the ball almost out of Target Field, clocking a 474 ft. homer for the books. The hit brought both Alonso and Dominic Smith home, making a double-digit score for the Mets and leaving the Twins in the dust. Minnesota, shaken, never recovered, although Eddie Rosario hit a groundout to help Mitch Garver score in the eighth; the Mets beat the first-place Twins 14-4 in the end.

You would think that a massive victory like this would keep me riding high throughout the day, But then I went on Twitter, as I do, because I hate myself and have never done well with self-care, and I saw the news of Trump sycophants screaming for Ilhan Omar’s deportation even though she has citizenship and voted for 9/11 first responders to receive financial aid from the government that day and has done more to try and unify the country than the President of the United States, even though that doesn’t say much because the President has done nothing and you could say the same thing about a lot of folks.

Ilhan Omar voted to pass the Zadroga Act, which in its current state would provide relief to 9/11 first responders and their families until the year 2090. A good chunk of folks voted for it, too. Mitch McConnell, with his resting Mitch face, said he’d consider it. But when the bill came to the Senate, Rand Paul — the Kentucky senator who makes plenty of Kentuckians take another shot of bourbon on a daily basis — blocked Kirsten Gillibrand’s request that the bill be approved by unanimous consent. He and Utah’s Mike Lee — a man who has a thing with dinosaurs, as we’ve reported — say that they want to offset funds from other federal programs in order to pay for the fund before they vote on it. This, as you might realize, sounds like bullshit. You’re right.

See, Rand Paul voted for the legislation which gave tax cuts to the wealthy without wondering how the government would pay the trillion-plus dollar cost. So for him to slow his roll on a much cheaper bill that would provide relief to folks who risked their lives in the face of danger doesn’t seem right. There’s other pork in the budget to which Rand could object; the Zadroga Act isn’t it. And with broad support from both sides of the Senate and a near-unanimous Yea vote in the House, Rand’s delaying the bill’s passing seems like nothing more than baseless punishment for something. Plus, he says that he wants to move money from education and agriculture in order to pay for this fund? Those departments are already strapped enough! Again, where was he when Trump and friends were gung-ho on spending trillions to get a tax cut?

I mean, we can slam Rand all we want, but he’ll just whine about how we’re attacking him like his neighbor did that one time, and then he’ll quote some Ayn Rand or something, and then run away and call his dad and cry. I didn’t know that Ron Paul still did stuff. I realized just today that he still has a show where he talks about libertarian values and such. While Googling this show, though, I saw that Ron Paul has shown some affection for Bernie Sanders, which, uh, kind of makes my head hurt a little bit.

The Mets go to San Francisco to kick off a four-game series with the Giants tonight. Game time is set for 10:45 pm Eastern, which means that I will not watch this game. I will go to bed before Noah Syndergaard throws the first pitch. I am old now, and two things give me great pleasure in this world: Baseball and falling asleep at a reasonable hour. Pray, though, that I never get so old that I start agreeing with fuckers like Rand Paul. +

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